My Thanksgiving Post

In the land of limited internet access, I have finally found a way to make this post. For those who don’t know I have spent this thanksgiving, much like I have spent the rest of my year, in the depths of the Middle East. I wanted to take some time from battling the forces of evil to share two recent stories with everyone.

The Turkey

While sand and sun abound, turkeys do not. In fact, this thanksgiving was to be without our tasty feathered friend if it were not for a stroke of luck and my extended line of credit. Yes it seems the remoteness of my location precludes the growth of turkeys, and pretty much any other living creature for that matter. That and my Muslim friends aren’t too keen on celebrating the rebirth of the Christian faith in the New World or the white man’s conquest of the Native American (at least that’s what they taught me in school).

Well as luck would have it I found myself in Germany just two days prior to our great celebration. Upon learning that my fellow airmen would be without their turkey this year my crew embarked upon a journey to hunt and acquire said bird. So like the fathers before us we went to the grocery store and bought turkey. 500 lbs of turkey that is! And we loaded those birds up and left the freedoms of western society to return to our tents in the land of despair. But we had turkey and everyone was happy if but just for a moment.

Anyway, you can imagine the resources available for cooking these birds, just picture nothing. However, thanks to some good ol’ American ingenuity, our remarkably resourceful civil engineers created some makeshift smokers and spent the entire day smoking 26 turkeys. And behold, the most beautiful thanksgiving meal was upon us, an exceptionally juicy and smoky flavored bird enjoyed by all. Now let’s just get to what everyone is waiting for the pictures…

The Aggies

Ladies and gentlemen, it is by no mistake the fightin’ Texas Aggies beat the hell out of Texas this year. Not easily given to superstitions, I am convinced that a little act of kindness on my behalf is mostly if not wholly responsible for our victory. It all happened thanksgiving morning as our crew arose in the early morning hours to go fight the war on terrorism.

Driving past our local hangout, my eye, like many times before, caught the sight of this stuffed animal Texas longhorn. For weeks this tea sippin’ son-of-a-gun has been staring me down with that stupid little grin and abhorrent burnt orange vest. Well friends today would be the end of him.

Commanding the driver to stop the bus, I took the sharpest knife I could find, charged that longhorn, and like any self-respecting Aggie would do, I sawed that suckers horns off! And to this day that pathetic excuse for a mascot sits there, horns dangling, as a reminder that just because I live 7000 miles away in the heart of our enemy’s territory, doesn’t mean that we can be friends. That and my football team is gonna beat you this year. Thanks for letting me rant, now here’s the pictures you all want...